Nice girls, in many ways, are stripped of their agency and humanity. This is especially true for Black Women. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. But for the most part, I tried very hard to appease everyone. So while some people may have seen me as passive, I knew the truth -- it wasn't that I was passive; I was just so busy protecting myself emotionally, that I wasn't always present enough to share who I really was. I have learned over the years though that "nice" is good, but "too nice" is not. This coping mechanism served me well in my childhood, where asserting any aspect of my true and unique self was seen as an attack and a sign of betrayal.
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Now is a good time and reason to stop being a nice girl. Instead I would like to welcome She, the Honest Woman into this world and guide you. I was raised to be a Nice Girl, in other words. And as such, I Rules like: Be polite and nice, even if someone is being mean or rude to you.
Think of Don't ever make a scene.
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5 Things You Need to Stop Apologizing For. If I am better off without someone in my world, then they will be removed without any guilt. I am not I Will Never Stop Being 'The Nice Girl'.
For more information, please visit her website at michelledenisejackson.
I wasn't being "too nice" so I could be accepted, I was being "too nice" to ensure the survival of my identity.
Nice girls, in many ways, are stripped of their agency and humanity. I battled feelings of guilt, wondering whether I was being an asshole.
There are many reasons why I've struggled with a fear of engulfment.
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I am afraid of being overwhelmed, of disappearing in the process of connection. I was not afraid to let people know how I was feeling.
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And then those realizations lead me to this one: This is usually a great compliment to me. For more information, please visit her website at michelledenisejackson. I am more forthright in expressing when I can and cannot do something. So while some people may have seen me as passive, I knew the truth -- it wasn't that I was passive; I was just so busy protecting myself emotionally, that I wasn't always present enough to share who I really was.
We're not disagreeing when he says he wants to keep things casual. One of those is the addiction to being a nice girl. her friends even if she's exhausted and said 'friends' don't ever really return the favor.
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If you recognize yourself in this picture stop being a nice girl, you're playing yourself!. Get Her to Stop Being the Nice Girl Do women only talk to me because they're being nice?
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We talk a lot It's not the worst thing in the world.
I don't have a fear of abandonment, I have a fear of engulfment. I do not feel the need to apologize for having needs or opinions as much.
How I Finally Learned To Stop Being 'Too Nice' HuffPost
And if someone is getting on my last damn nerve, they will know it. I've spent most of my life working hard to protect this refuge of mine, of ensuring its walls remain intact. Share it Tweet Share it Share it Pin it. I am more forthright in expressing when I can and cannot do something.
Being nice is an expectation that we often exclusively impose on girls.
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I maintained my sense of identity, my own reality, my own self. But for me being alone has always felt like a refuge, a place where I could retreat and be who I really was.
But the important people in my life stuck around. It's still difficult for me at times to remain completely present with others while expressing how I feel and what I believe, without the security of knowing I can hide, but I'm doing it, and every day it gets little easier.
I have no control over what happens next -- hurt feelings, disappointment, anger, or understanding, acceptance and love -- and that's perfectly alright because I only need to have control over myself.